Some Thoughts, As I Keep On Keeping On

Sometimes when I'm on the phone talking with people from back home or while filling my time during a long and lonely weekend, I feel the want to go home so strongly that I start considering the logistics of that decision. And of course, as a planner, the logisitics are on my mind - such as where I would live, work, and do in a different life - which is what it will be when I end this chapter... But its not time to plan that part yet, not quite. 


Then there are the times when I'm sitting with a bunch of kids talking about and playing earthworms, or getting hugs from a line of little girls leaving the House of Culture after a workshop or something, or I'm at a really great event, celebrating opening ceremonies, toasting with a delicious red wine - what a treat - and its at those moments when I realize I can't give up on this! My time here is not finished; my experiences are not complete; and the kids certainly have a lot more to learn before I can consider them environmentally educated. So I keep on, every day, some better than others, and I learn and grow little bits at a time. Most importantly I continue in order to finish what I've started and to achieve the satisfaction of completing these projects.

I'm starting to realize that as time goes on, I am setting down roots into the community, much like the roots of the plants that we're preparing to sow. When October 2011 comes around, I expect that harvests of my efforts will be enjoyed, but I don't expect a clean break in extracting myself. I'll pull up and out, perhaps shake around a little bit to remove the dirt from my roots, but I'll always remain with remnants of this experience. I've grown here and have left an imprint as well as had an lasting imprint made upon myself. This is life and these experiences are shaping me, causing an impact and teaching me lessons, in a cliche and very real way. 

Constantly I ponder the concept of sustainability in the work that I do; the handoff of projects underway; the impacts of educating children and of acting as a role model. But I also remind myself that the end is not what its all about entirely - but also the process, the journey. Recently we have had some volunteers call it quits and leave early for one reason of another. I recognize that we each have to make that decision and it is not for everyone to be here for 2+ years, nor is life predictable and plans must often change. At the same time I allow myself to ponder the drastically different direction that would occur should I throw in the towel and pack my bags early, I also gain a greater realization of the good that I'm doing and the growth that is taking place, both in my life, the lives of the kids and the people with whom I interact. And so here I am... keeping on... and definitely enjoying the journey.